Videogame Character of the Month - December

Yum! 5 litres of sprouts with my Christmas dinner. You can tell I’ve been excited again recently. I hope my Butler remembered to order enough sprouts….. It will be quiet around Gameov3r Towers on Christmas Day so no one will moan about me farting and I’ll get some quiet time with my Sega Saturn down in the cellar. We’ll bask in the green haze together.

Where was I now, oh yes I was excited. It's a strange feeling being excited. Doesn’t happen often to me. I did get excited when that princess turned into an ogre in Shrek. She was pretty hot! This time I’m excited because I got an email from NiGHTS inviting me to Dream World for a chat and a brandy. An ideal opportunity to add him to the Video Game Character of the Month gallery. I didn’t tell NiGHTS I’d be doing that just in case it wanted money or told Sega to bill me or something. They suggest my name enough in their games and I don’t see a bloody penny!
Now I’d much rather be in front of my TV playing games but I said I’d do these interviews, Sonic will never be back in my cellar after the last interview by the way, so I will. For once I don’t have to pretend to be hospitable and share my beanbag and beer with anyone either. I hate it when visitors get greasy hands all over my controllers! I always get my own back though. I like to put “things” in the visitor’s drinks and snacks and then giggle as they run to the bog.

This interview is a bit different. Firstly because I was asleep whilst it took place and second because NiGHTS doesn’t say a lot so we communicated with telepathy and eyelid flickering. I scribed the interview retrospectively once I woke up.

GO: You’re a kind of Jester or something are you NiGHTS? And tell me do you have a pair of horns that fill that funny hat? It is even a hat or is that a pair of floppy antennae attached to your noggin?
N: I’m a Jester and it’s a hat.

GO: Are you a he or a she NiGHTS? I had to describe you as an “IT” because I can’t tell.
N: It’s quite embarrassing but I’m a bit of both. My creator, Wizeman, thought he could control my sibling and me if we were created to be androgynous. I decided he was evil and went to help Claris and Elliot anyway.

GO: You have brothers? Sisters? Things?
N: There are Nightmaren and there’s Reala. Reala is my equal and opposite and is Wiseman’s right hand man. Reala is in the new Wii game too. I’ll have to sort it all out again.

GO: Nice plug so while we’re on the subject you’d better tell me about this new Wii game.
N: It’s a great adventure called Journey of Dreams. The Nightmaren are threatening to take over Nightopia again and there are two new children, William and Helen, that I’m helping. It’s magical and everyone is going to want to buy it and play it.

GO: Let me be blunt with you NiGHTS. Your first game wasn’t well received because it was only released on the Saturn and there were only 2 Saturn’s sold in the UK. All you really have is a cult following made up of people that haven’t even played your first game. Not exactly a great recipe for a repeat success now is it? What makes you think this new game will be a hit? Do you even want fame and worldwide acclaim?
N: I don’t want a star on Hollywood boulevard or anything. I don’t even want to be as popular as Mario but a bit of extra cash in my chequered pants back pocket would be nice. I quite fancy getting a cape like that Superman too. He’s quite cool but not as acrobatic as I am. That’s why people will buy my game.

GO: Forgive my abrupt questions NiGHTS. I am already one of your fans and I’ll be buying your new game. I still have my Saturn, analogue controller and a copy of your first game as well as the Christmas Special that I’ll be playing at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve.
N: Wow! Thanks Gameov3r. Just don’t fall asleep while you’re playing. I’m on vacation in Bermuda and Nightopia can be a scary place without me to guide you.

GO: It’s ok NiGHTS I’ll keep Continue? by my side just in case I end up in Nightopia. He’s been spoiling for a fight since Stuart insulted his very existence.
N: Another mince pie? I soaked them in ale for 3 weeks just for you Gameov3r.

GO: Don’t mind if I do NiGHTS. Don’t mind if I do. Better not be too late back though. I don’t want to be out when dawn breaks. I forgot my fingerless gloves. Before I go though let’s get that Saturn on and have a race on ManxTT after the mince pies.