All you need is a Mushroom

I’ve done it again. Different track, different circumstances, but the timing was just as impeccable.

Last time I dodged a Blue Shell it was pure chance. I hit the boost pad and took flight over the river that meanders through DK’s Jungle Raceway at the very moment that the Blue Shell attempted it’s kamikaze swan dive.

This time was different. Let me strap you in behind the wheel for a drivers-eye view of what happened… Comfortable? Good. Here we go...

You’re in first place on the final lap of a 150cc GP race at Mushroom Gorge. You’ve controlled the race, from the front, since the green light and have just bounced and tricked your way over the mushrooms in the cave one last time. You hit the track and mini turbo perfectly towards the final turn. Victory is about to be yours.

Then you hear it. It’s coming again. A Blue Shell.

All your hard work is going to be undone because the chasing pack are not very far behind. But wait, you have one last chance. You exit the hair-pin onto the long straight. The finish line is in sight but the Blue Shell is closing fast. In the top right of your screen is your chance. You have a Mushroom. You wait as long as you dare and then, keeping the kart as straight as you can, you hit the d-pad and turbo toward the finish line. But the line is too far away! The turbo boost expires and your kart slows down. But where’s the Blue Shell? It missed? No? You dodged it! Yay!! You timed the Mushroom so perfectly that at the instant before impact you boosted out of its destructive clutches.

Take that evil Blue Shell!

“All you need is love” said the Beatles. “All you need is a Mushroom” said Gameov3r, from his FORUM. All I need is some sleep! Oh, did anyone tell you that GTA IV is out?

I have no choice. Mario Kart has taken over all of my game time for the past week. My Xbox 360 must think the electricity has been cut off for good. And so, as I say, I have no choice but to talk about MK Wii. Quiet at the back! I don't care how much you've read about MK Wii already. Besides, this might be a little bit different.

Let me start by asking this; Do you hate Blue Shells? Good. So do I. There's nothing worse than earning a lead and then have someone fire a Blue Shell up your exhaust pipe. You get going again, find yourself still in the lead, smile to yourself, and you then receive a Red Shell up the exhaust! Followed by a Blue one. By the time you set off again this time the other eleven racers whoosh past you, knocking you sideways and off the road. Undeterred, you battle your way back to the front and take the lead as you approach the final bend. Another Blue Shell takes you out and, rubbing salt into your now well seasoned wound, you fall into a conveniently placed abyss. You cross the line dead last. Mario Kart Wii, I love to hate you just as much as I love you.

Now a funny thing happened to me this week while playing Mario Kart Wii and seeing as I've played Mario Kart games since the days of the SNES, I'd like to put what happened down to my brilliance at Mario Kart games in general. I'd like to, if I were that good, but I really think that this was a complete fluke. A complete fluke with Rolex timing.

Here's what happened... I was playing as Yoshi, driving a Standard Kart and using the Wii Wheel. I'd managed to eek out a lead on DK Jungle Raceway and was hooning around the bend that leads to the Speed Boost that catapults you across the river. With me? If not have a look at the picture below. As I'm hooning along, on full lock with orange sparks flying, I hear the familiar beeping and whooshing of a Blue Shell homing in. A cursory glance at my position confirms that the blasted thing is homing in on me. I braced for the inevitable impact. The Blue Shell made it's final whooshing and excited beeping as it hovered above Yoshi's head relishing the kill. At that very moment I hit the Speed Boost and began accelerating towards the edge of the ramp. I heard the Blue Shell come crashing down.

I peeked out from behind one scrunched up eyelid to see Yoshi sailing through the air, eyes firmly focused on landing on the river bank. He landed, lit up the tyres and boosted away. Yay!! I dodged a Blue Shell! I dodged a Blue Shell!! I dodged a Blue Shell!!! I dodged a Blue Shell!!!!

^^^Blue Shell Line - Do Not Cross^^^
(The scene of the dodged Blue Shell)

Mocking the normally infallible Blue Shell is probably not the wisest move. I will, no doubt, receive more than my fair share of them for months to come. I'm off to find out.

Have you taken a Blue Shell today? Where did you take it? To the beach? For a drive? Put a lead on it and bring it with you to the Gameov3r FORUM.