Giraffetastic!

So Jeff Minters long awaited Space Giraffe finds its way to the XBLA today for the measly sum of 400 points and it has created quite a stir already but not all for the right reasons.

The Official Xbox Magazine review had this to say about it:
The Verdict 2/10 - BROKEN
Just really bad. Lacks a single redeeming quality, or it's busted to varying degrees in its own design, quality or basic functionality. No gamer of any stripe should bother.

Jeff didn't take this too well and launched into the following tirade:
"OK, I found him (the reviewer)on the Partnernet leaderboards. Come to think of it I remember having seen his entries before because they were a bit unusual. He's on as 'OXM Dan' and he has NO achievements at all for Space Giraffe. It's really pretty hard to play SG for any length of time and get no achievements whatsoever; there are a few that are given out fairly easily by way of encouragement. Genius-boy here has managed to get none at all... In short, the leaderboards show that OXM Dan was playing the game in about the most shit way possible, and being absolutely crap at it. The leaderboards also show a lot of other people playing the game rather well, so we know it's not the game at fault here. Basically he was just rubbish."Burn!"

So after taking all that on board I've given the demo a go. I'm not going to do a review here I'll just give you an idea of what it's about in one sentence. It's very Tempest, very trippy (did you expect anything else?) with the big difference being that rather than trying to stop enemies reaching the edge, in Space Giraffe you actually want to gather them there for execution in the most profitable manner. That one sentence is probably more help than the whole of the tutorial!

As much as Jeff Minter is revered as a legend I think this time he only has himself to blame for some of the low scores this has been getting. The biggest reason some people aren't 'getting it' is down to the awful tutorial. The clues in the word surely... 'tutor'! You're supposed to tell me what I'm doing and how to do it well, not just tell me to “stay in the power zone!”, what's the damn power zone and how exactly do I get into it?! Argggh!
I managed to extract a few more clues from the “How to play” section but not much. “Keep an eye on my Power Zone and do the right thing to keep it extended” it says... the only thing I can see extending at the moment is my middle finger towards the TV screen!

Sorry Jeff but if people aren't playing your game right it's because they have no clue how to and there's only one person to blame for that. Having learned one technique 'the bull move', I started enjoying myself even though I'm still not always sure when I'm aloud to perform it! It's a shame as I'm really starting to like this game and I will probably download the full version and find out how to play it 'properly' elsewhere. In fact for anyone that's still interested http://www.llamasoft.co.uk/games/space-giraffe-walkthrough is the place to visit for just that. Now why isn't all that help in the game itself Jeff?

Our Giraffe is in another castle indeed.

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